What is Sexuality?

It's Pride Month - the perfect time to get curious about all the colors of the kaleidoscopic sexuality spectrum. You might be able to tell your transgender flag from your lesbian flag, but when it comes to the intricacies of how we express ourselves sexually, it can be a little more confusing. Join us as we proudly unpack this often overcomplicated question: what is sexuality, really?

Let's start with the basics

Sexuality encompasses far more than just who you're attracted to romantically or intimately. It's a core part of human identity - how we view ourselves, experience desire and pleasure, connect with others, and explore relationships. Your sexuality often influences how you move through the world.

Here's where it gets deliciously complex: sexuality exists on a vast, fluid spectrum with infinite unique experiences. On one end, you have heterosexuality - being attracted to the "opposite" sex/gender. On the other, homosexuality - being attracted to the same sex/gender as yourself. 

But the scope extends far beyond that binary. Bisexuality is the romantic/sexual attraction to more than one gender, whereas Pansexuality is attraction regardless of sex or gender identity. Asexuality is the absence of sexual attraction (while potentially still experiencing romantic attraction).

And those are just a few of the more commonly known sexual identities! The spectrum keeps expanding to capture the nuances of human attraction and desire with identities like:

- Polysexuality: attraction to multiple, but not all, genders

- Demisexuality: only experiencing attraction after a strong emotional bond

- Greysexuality: existing somewhere between asexuality and more active sexuality

What does this mean for me? 

Your sexuality doesn't have to definitively determine your romantic partnerships or gender identity, either. You might also find you struggle to identify with any defined labels, and that’s ok! Who we’re attracted to and to what degree, is multi-faceted and deeply personal, and many of us find that this is celebrated within the LGBTQIA+ community under its expansive umbrella.

Your sexuality is yours to define, explore, express...and yes, even evolve over time! Embracing and owning your authentic sexuality, in all its complexities and nuances, is an act of self-empowerment.It's about pushing past society's restrictions and antiquated ideals. About tuning into your mind-body desires free of guilt or judgment. About opening yourself to the full spectrum of intimacies, pleasures and connections your heart and body crave on a primal level.

Pride Month can inspire a variety of emotions, some of which can be complex. If you’re simply ‘not sure’ about your sexuality, this is the perfect time to not just be accepting of yourself, but alsocurious. It’s alright to not have it all figured out, or not completely understand the complexities of your own personal sexuality, and there are lots of resources out there to help you along your way. 

- Switchboard is the national LGBTQIA+ support line, set up in 1974, as a non-judgemental resource for the community to navigate everything from sexuality to relationships and gender identity.
- Queer Britain, based in London’s King’s Cross, not only is a peaceful space that’s preserving personal stories from the queer community, but it also celebrates and offers a nuanced view of LGBTQIA+ lives, journeys and sexualities.
- We met the brilliant brains behind podcast Lesbian Supper Club at the launch of Gillian Anderson’s adaptogenic drinks, G Spot, and have been big listeners ever since. Their episodes are hilarious, honest and touching as they explore sexuality, lesbian culture. If you don’t have a queer network, or are exploring your lesbian sexuality, this is a great place to start - and keep listening!

At the end of the lay (wink wink), the nuances and intricacies of sexuality are something to lean into and celebrate with every ounce of pride. Go forth and have fun with it!

Want more? 

• Are we in the modern era of Audio Erotica? Read why we're all getting off to Audio Erotica
• Shop our gentle, universal water-based lubricant.