Pregnancy, Punishment and Sex Positivity in Gilmore Girls

Buckle up, it’s officially lalala season, folks. As we settle in for our umpteenth rewatch of the noughties’ most autumnal comfort show, Pumpkin Spice Libido Latte in hand, we’re taking a slightly more critical view. With eccentric parades, side characters and gramworthy houses, Stars Hollow might appear the most charming place on earth - but its inhabitants’ attitudes to sex, pleasure and pregnancy are pretty puritanical, or just plain weird. This isn’t a comprehensive detailing of each and every sex-related scene in Gilmore Girls. Instead, these musings are the digital equivalent of caramel popcorn: a sweet (with a little crunch) dip into the lives of a fast-talking, highly caffeinated mother-daughter duo. Warning to first timers: big old spoilers ahead…

Sex, Virginity, Pregnancy and Punishment

The portrayal of sex, especially virginity, in Gilmore Girls is fascinatingly odd. For a product of the 2000s, it's rather out of step in its attitudes, compared to many other shows airing at the same time. Where Grey’s Anatomy featured open, taboo-busting conversations about pleasure and the complexities of it, Gilmore Girls swings between showcasing women with proudly voracious sexual appetites (Miss Patty) to shaming them for exploring their desires - and punishing them with pregnancy. For example, of the six pregnancies in the original run of Gilmore Girls, only one is planned. As we know, the entirety of Gilmore Girls is shaped by Lorelei Gilmore’s own teen pregnancy and subsequent hardships (as hard as they get as a privileged white woman from old money who lives in a seemingly crimeless, broadly benevolent dream town in New England). That isn’t to say the fallout from Lorelei’s own unplanned pregnancy wasn’t emotionally traumatic. The senior Gilmores' horror at their daughter’s perceived fall from grace, and bitter estrangement, left its marks on Lorelei and we as viewers can see how this has clearly impacted her perspective on raising her own child. Where she had a frosty relationship with Emily, Lorelei positions Rory as her best friend and confidante. That closeness falls down however, when Rory’s sexual sense of self begins to emerge.

Enter, Paris Geller. Whilst we might not want to be roommates with Yale’s fieriest pupil, we’d erase her post-sex ‘downfall’ in a heartbeat. We take Lorelei’s goofball sense of humour throughout the show with a pinch of salt, but there is one line that we can’t quite stomach. Having overheard Paris tell Rory about her first time, Lorelei affirms: “I got the good kid.” Her relief and palpable pride that Rory is still a virgin reinforces the trope that teenagers, especially young women, having sex is naughty or wrong. Consider her horror when Rory and Dean are found innocently asleep in the town barn, and especially her response to the aftermath of Rory’s first time with a married Dean. Is it a good idea to sleep with your married ex? No. Is it something that a nineteen year old with a sheltered view on relationships and pleasure in general would do? Yes. In an ideal world, Lorelei would right the wrongs of her own childhood, and where she was met with shame and judgement. However, her own experiences have indelibly coloured her world view and actions. 

Paris, Lorelei and Rory aren’t only characters seemingly ‘punished’ for daring to get it on for their first time. Shout it loud and proud: Lane Kim deserved better (and his name is Dave Rygalski). Star’s Hollow’s own riot girl waited until marriage, and was rewarded not only with a non-pleasurable experience, but the bonus of immediately getting pregnant with twins. It seems that in this particular corner of fictional Connecticut, babies are the souvenir for getting it on, whether you want them or not. Side note: with all this action going on, why aren’t condoms featured in Gilmore Girls? Whilst we hear mentions or vague affirmations that ‘we were safe’, it’s no wonder our heroes are getting knocked up when contraception on screen is as rare as a cheery good morning from Luke…

The Fake Vasectomy  

Which brings us onto Sookie, Jackson and the lied-about vasectomy. Out of many plotlines that push up our blood pressure, this one is quite possibly the worst. Why turn Jackson from a dungaree-clad, vegetable wielding hottie you might lock eyes with at the local farmers market into a character who not only lies to Sookie about getting a vasectomy, but lashes out at any criticism of his actions? Why put Sookie, a much-loved character, in such a powerless position? Why was this deep breach of trust in their relationship eventually brushed off with minimal fallout apart from an unplanned pregnancy? In short, if we were the showrunners here, we’d have ditched this troubling take and instead opted for ever-larger rotation of tiered cakes, roast turkeys and prawn towers to hide actor Melissa McCarthy’s real-life pregnancy bump.

A final shoutout to Gilmore Girls’ true couple goals

Forget the Rory/Dean/Jess/Rory/Logan/Wookie debate - it’s all about Babette and Morey. When it comes to the romantic relationship in the show that gives us hope, this jazz-loving duo are true couple goals. Put it this way: they’re child-free with a chill existence that revolves around Cinnamon (RIP), remaining playful in the bedroom after decades together and all round pretty damn appreciative of each other. If you need inspiration for a mutually adoring, spicy relationship, you could do far worse than this pair.

Right, we’re off for our nightly passeggiata. Catch you at Luke’s! 

Want more?

• What does The Mummy have in common with Coyote Ugly? They’re both crucial to our bi-awakenings! Discover our fave movies that helped us recognise our desires.
• Watch out, Lorelei - caffeine might have a dampener on your libido. Find out why.
• Sex positive people deserve the best in protection. Shop the Pleasure Starter Pack, with natural condoms, lubricant and more…