Spice Up Your Dating Life: A Cheeky Guide to Better Encounters

Calling all pleasure seekers and culinary adventurers! We’ve been cooking up a treat to tantalise your taste buds… As your go-to experts for all things bedroom bliss, we’ve teamed up with Appetite, the app that helps you to find the hottest spots to wine and dine. We both believe that great chemistry starts long before the bedroom, and they do say the way to a person’s heart is through their stomach… 

We asked the HANX community to anonymously dish the dirt on their dating experiences, and they didn’t hold back. Armed with these juicy insights, we’ve whipped together a guide to improved intimacy that’s part appetiser, part main course, and part dessert. So, whether you’re a seasoned dater or just dipping your toe in the dating pool, get ready to indulge in our sexpert’s top tips on how to spice up your dating life. 

The Ingredients for a Sizzling Date Night

Our HANX community survey revealed some spicy stats:

• 53.6% said unsatisfying first-date encounters were due to poor communication about likes and dislikes
• 42.9% pointed to performance anxiety as a mood killer
• 35.7% felt a lack of experience was holding them back
• A whopping 85.7% believe better communication leads to better sexual encounters
• 67% think open-mindedness doesn't automatically translate to better experiences
• 54% feel people tend to overthink and take sex too seriously

So, let's turn up the heat and cook up some solutions!

1. Talk the Talk

Open communication on a date (and in a relationship) really is the secret sauce to a satisfying encounter. So, let's get chatty:

• Play "Two Truths and a Lie": but make it spicy! Share two things you love and one you don't. It's a fun way to break the ice and learn about each other's preferences.
  
• Create a "Yes, No, Maybe" list: Write down activities you're into, curious about, or not interested in. Compare notes with your date - you might discover some exciting common ground!
  
• Discuss your preferences beforehand: Open discussion and communication is SEXY! Being able to talk about what you like and don’t like is so important, not only help to avoid any misalignment when it comes to intimacy, but it will also lead to some steamy conversations about what you expect in the bedroom. This might also be a good time to discuss contraception, and using barrier-method contraception such as Condoms.
• Use the traffic light system: Green means go, yellow means slow down, and red means stop during sex. It's a quick and easy way to communicate your enjoyment during intimate moments.
  
  

2. Calm Those Butterflies

Feeling jittery? You're not alone! Here's how to keep those nerves in check mid-fun:

• Breathe together: Try some synchronised deep breathing. It's intimate, calming, and hey, it might even lead to a steamy makeout session! Knowing how to control your breathing can actually lead to more intense orgasms… Remember, it takes time to get to know someone and to fully understand their likes and dislikes, people very rarely peak during their first sexual encounter together. 
• Laugh it off: Share a funny dating story or awkward moment. Laughter is a great tension-buster and aphrodisiac. The movies always portray sexual intercourse as really serious and sultry, ripping each others clothes off in the hallways. But, in reality some of the best experiences can start off with a good dose of humour - and you never know, you might enjoy being laughed into bed. 
• Focus on the journey, not the destination: Take the pressure off by enjoying each moment without worrying about the "end goal." Sex doesn't need to be penetrative, some of the best experiences can involve kissing, massages, and foreplay.  
• Get the blood pumping: If you're navigating mismatched libidos, you could keep it fun by enjoying a Libido Lift cocktail together.

3. Practice Makes Perfect

Remember, everyone starts somewhere! Here's how to gain confidence in the bedroom:

• Solo exploration: Get to know your own body and what feels good. It'll make communicating your desires much easier. 
• Read up: Check out some educational resources on intimacy and pleasure. Knowledge is power (and pretty sexy too)! Check out some of our favourite sextok influencers here, or gain some inspiration from our all-time favourite smutty books. Maybe don’t read these books on the tube... 
• Start slow: There's no rush! Take your time to explore and learn together. This might include giving each other massages, or even using lubricant so you can start slowly exploring each other without any friction. 

4. Keep It Light and Fun 

Sex doesn't have to be serious business. Here's how to keep things playful:

• Play sexy games: Try adult versions of classic games like Twister or Truth or Dare.
• Have a giggle: Don't be afraid to laugh during intimate moments. It's natural and can make things more enjoyable. Sex can be weird and funny - allow yourselves to laugh together! 
• Be spontaneous: Treat your date with an unexpected location or new experience (that you’ve previously communicated about and know is on their ‘Yes’ list. Trying something new together can spice up the mood. If it’s not for you - it’s not for you!

5. Doggy Not Your Thing?

Trying out positions with a new partner can be fun and exciting, but can be utterly terrifying for some people. The key to anything experimental in the bedroom is feeling comfortable and at ease. 

Just because you’re enjoying your doggy bag, doesn’t mean you necessarily enjoy doggy style… According to a recent survey, 28% of women don’t enjoy doggy. This might be down to a lack of eye contact, or may find the angle too intense. 

• There’s no right or wrong way of doing doggy style, figure out what works for both of you - this might mean changing the traditional way it’s done by lying flat on your front or trying different angles.
• If it’s the lack of eye contact that puts you off doggy, why not try doing it in front of a mirror? This way you can still make steady eye contact with your partner whilst doing the deed.. And let's be honest, it can make you feel even sexier. 
• Try some other rear-entry positions such a reverse cowgirl first to enjoy the benefits and remove some of the awkwardness before moving onto doggy, you’re less likely to have any height difference problems this way too. 

The Perfect Pairing

Just like a sommelier knows the perfect wine to complement your meal, HANX and Appetite are here to ensure your dating life is a harmonious blend of great food, stimulating conversation, and intimate connection. Remember, the best encounters—both culinary and carnal—come from a willingness to explore, communicate, and savour every moment.

So, next time you're planning a date, let Appetite guide you to the perfect spot, and let HANX inspire you to keep the excitement going long after the check arrives. Here's to nights that start with a clink of glasses and end with a bang!

Bon appétit and happy dating! 

Want more?

• Get your hands on a free lunch from Appetite and the very delish Sexy Buns, plus a Doggy (style) Bag of HANX goodies - all on us. Find out more here.
• How many daters haven't used a condom? Find out in our major love life survey...
• Be date-ready with our Sexual Wellness Starter Pack, full of natural Condoms, Lubricant and more. Shop now.